Shared Sentence Writing

In Room 9, we have been looking at shared sentences for writing. To make our shared sentence, we wrote 1-2 lines about a photo of a mossy building. It was really cool to see what other people interpreted from the drawing.

Once, we had written our couple of sentences, the person underneath us continued the story by adding another 1-2 sentences onto the story. This continued about four times. In the end, my story came out really cool and unexpected.

Here is my story:

I winced as I sat on top of the green mossy building, slowly crumbling away as I moved. I stood up, wobbling unsteadily. This is NOT how I expected my rock climbing day to go. I needed to go into the building to see if there was anyone in there to help me. I looked at my watch, screen shattered. Time was a snail. Minutes felt like hours.

 My arm was throbbing and the pain intensified as the adrenaline wore off. It must’ve been broken as my arm looked like a stick snapped in half. 

My heart dropped because I kept hearing noise echoing around me. I heard a siren, getting louder and quieter, alternating between the two. I thought someone had called the ambulance. I was ecstatic. I was going to be OK! I  turned around, a little too fast. I fell to the ground and heard a loud WHOOSH, and the last thing I saw was a big wave headed straight toward me!

What could I do to improve? What would you write about?

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